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When vintage value met contemporary opportunity.

Blog

When vintage value met contemporary opportunity.

Phenomenal Woman Mission

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Thinking she was not the kind of lady that would appreciate his help, he pretended not to notice her at all. Sometimes swooping in to the rescue was a bad idea with modern women. He'd been burnt before.

She wondered, if he was going to step in at any point. Offer to help maybe? Notice her perhaps? Anything? Shunting the fleeting thought, she pushed it back into the furthest recess of her mind.

Bad manners and minding ones own business seemed to be the new etiquette of the day she concluded, as she continued to drag her luggage in a most unladylike like fashion to the check-in desk.

Fixing his suit jacket and tie for the third time, he felt a slight unease at his lack of superhero action that morning. He was naturally rather good at it after all. But 'lady-leave-me-alone' looked like she was not only quite capable, but seemingly happy to be left to her own luggage lumping devices. 

With freshly coiffed hair and dressed beautifully in a stylish, suitably figure enhancing dress, Mr 'I-don't-want-to-crease-my-designer-suit' continued to admire himself in all his Armani finery. His complete lack of acknowledgement to her struggle deeply bothered her.

'How rude' she thought, clearing her throat loudly to ensure that he at least noticed her displeasure.

'Sorry,' he lied,' I didn't see you standing there.'

'What in my 6 inch heels and enough luggage to sink the titanic,' she intended to blurt out, before forcing herself to water down her usual brand of sarcasm.

'That's ok,' she lied back, 'It's hard to see me under all these bags.'

 Mr Armani smirked, appreciating her ice breaking wit and immediately extended a hand.

'May I?' He enquired gingerly, in an attempt to protect himself from a potential onslaught of 'independent woman' syndrome.

'Thank you,' she smiled, recognising his ability to step forward with class and feeling rather happy that chivalry hadn't died after all.

From Mr rude to Mr wonderful in 60 seconds! He wasn't so bad after all. Reminded that not all guys were the same, she flashed him her most authentic thank you smile, usually reserved for old people and children.

Having made 'lady miserable' smile so beautifully, he felt a certain type of accomplishment and loosened his tie. After the earlier adjustments, it was starting to cut off circulation to his brain. Taking a step back to let him take charge of the situation, she admired his skill. It would seem he was rather happy to help after all. Was it the dress? Her Laboutins? Or the clearing of her throat that had prompted his inner gentleman to make an appearance? She had no idea, but what she did know, was that for once, she was enjoying relinquishing control and so let him lead her luggage on to the conveyer belt. All 5 pieces.

Its so easy to create assumptions and judge other people's behaviour these days, especially with the male vs female rule book being thrown completely out of the window. We are all so busy being the superheroes of our own lives that we have forgotten that it is actually ok to ask for or expect help when we need it. It's also ok to relinquish control sometimes and let someone else take charge. I mean what's the worse that could happen? 

As modern day women we have the greatest opportunities ever known. We can do most things by ourselves, we can head up multi-million pound corporations, plus we can make the first move when it comes to dating, because we are capable, confident, determined and strong. But isn't there something just deliciously romantic about sometimes allowing a man to take care of your needs? Not only is it helpful (and a massive time saver for busy women today) but it makes him feel good too. Man has always been designed to 'fix' things and he feels accomplished when he is able to solve a problem and makes a lady smile. 

Vintage value is all about manners and respect, but it's also about allowing a woman be a woman and man be a man. In the new age of feminism and resulting emasculation, gender lines seem to have become increasingly blurred. Some may say it's progress, however, I believe a return to the value of the Golden Age, coupled with contemporary opportunity is not only an interesting concept, but a process that could possibly free us from the gender arguments we are continually battling to win.

Perhaps if we learned to relinquish control over always trying to be bigger, better and stronger and instead, aimed to positively embrace our unique natural qualities, we might open ourselves up to attracting more suitable, committed and worthy counterparts. i.e The 'one' we all desire and someone we are able to better work with authentically. No competition, just mutual admiration, respect and appreciation for each others abilities. I'm certainly not suggesting that we as women give up our right to 'do what the boys do and better,' I am simply highlighting the fact that we as women carry an ACE card up our sleeve. It's called charm! And with feminine charm, comes a particular type of elegance, a gentleness and an appeal that we ladies own the deliciously effective rights too. So why not use it?

We spend far too much time today selfishly thinking about getting what we want and put far too much focus on competing 'against' others. We make assumptions and then jump to conclusions, instead of just 'romancing the situation' at hand. By this I'm referring to paying attention fully to the scenario that you are in and making use of your authentic charm in order to navigate a desirable outcome. When you look at life from the perspective of the person you are dealing with (leaving assumption and competition behind) you are not only able to gain a greater understanding of their needs, but more importantly, are able to discover what their true motivation is. This phenomenal method alone elevates your power as a human being and is an extremely attractive and powerful attribute for anyone. 

When you 'romance the situation' correctly in all your relationships, you create not only a positive impact on other people, but you also gain incredible value for yourself! Why? Because when you communicate effectively with others, they in return will communicate more effectively with you. It's a Win/win situation. When you are authentically yourself and choose to take care of yourself and others, you will discover a shift in life that leads you in the desired direction. Taking care of others also makes them feel phenomenal! That's always nice too right?

Isn't it great to know that you can make someone feel incredible in your company without actually doing too much at all? And by embracing your natural feminine qualities, you instantly become attractive to a man! A man who wants to just feel like a man! Deep down, he just wants to be your hero. I think that's sweet. It's not about relinquishing power or control and it's not about incidentals such as, make up, clothes, status or money. It's simply about good old fashioned communication, authenticity and walking with your best energy. That ladies, is the only way to shine! By extending kindness and romancing the company your in, especially your date, you will create great value and a beautifully wide open space in which to play. (A date should be fun right?).

When you nurture and educate (two skills we ladies are naturally good at) he will protect and cherish! You may well be super woman (and trust me he already knows this) but I'm suggesting that maybe, by using the power of vintage value in todays setting, we might just be able to create an equilibrium that leads the way to change. Ladies we own it and he needs it, but he won't ask for it! So instead of fighting him (no-one has time for that) be confident enough to ask for what you want, but be brave enough to also give him what he needs! It's a fair exchange. When you lead with compassion, you gain understanding. So I say leave the defence tactics for the football field. 

The quickest way to get a mans positive attention, in an honourable way, is to be your uniquely, authentic, feminine self. So, keep your clothes on, stop racking up credit card debt buying outfits he probably doesn't notice anyway, stop questioning yourself and his motives and just 'romance the situation.' It's super beneficial for both parties, effortless and completely free. What's not to love about that.

I think There's something immensely satisfying about being completely in charge and yet relinquishing all control. Its power with ease. I like The idea of that. When a woman is a woman and values the power of her feminine self, she is then totally free to allow a man to be a man. And trust me, he'll be phenomenally happy about that! Ladies, you don't give your power away by being your fairer-self, infact it's completely the opposite, you actually become beautifully empowered (The martial art Tai chi is a perfect example of this). So be your contemporary, 'go getting self' by all means, I'm simply suggesting you take some phenomenal vintage value with you along the way.

Author Kerys Nathan