When was the last time you gave yourself a proper pat on the back for achieving something that you set out to do? No matter what it was, or whether it changed the world or not, when was the last time you felt truly proud enough to celebrate yourself, but chose not to for fear of what others might think? We've all been there I guess, but the problem with living in fear of others opinions, is that it restricts you from living in joy and leaves you a prisoner of your own making. Surely, that goes against everything you positively believe in right? What I would like to know is this: Exactly when did happy to be proud of yourself fly out the window and other people's opinion reign supreme? When the 'sisters of fear, jealousy and insecurity' moved in with all their many bags, that's when. So let's talk about that!
I've been paying attention to a large number of women across social media lately and have noticed the results of subconscious fear rear its ugly head on too many occasions. It would seem that too many women do not think that celebrating who they are and what they do is a feasible option. This saddens me, because I believe that this fear stems from a society that is now so focused on success being quantified by bank account balances, impressive sounding job title's and Facebook likes, that the rest of us are left feeling unnecessarily inadequate if we don't compare in a similar light. Being left in a negative black hole of petty competitiveness, for all the wrong reasons, is definitely not a phenomenal feeling. What on earth happened to celebrating yourself or someone else, just because they were happy? Or cheering for that special someone brave enough to not follow the masses? These days we seem to be so obsessed with celebrating 'celebrity' and stupidity (a past time that I personally believe is a waste of time and will only lead to insecurity) that we have lost sight of ourselves and the things that truly matter in this world. With a large majority of the public 'following fashion' these days, so as not to be judged as 'abnormal,' we therefore find ourselves living lives based on other people's unqualified opinions on who we should be. It's no wonder we have succumbed to the fear of celebrating ourselves.
Only last week I said to a very talented client of mine, 'What you have achieved is incredible, you really should share your story, it will inspire others,' to which her response was, 'but people will think I'm showing off. It's not like I changed the world or anything?' I couldn't believe how quickly she dismissed celebrating herself because of others. So I asked her, 'What if you changed one persons life forever with your story? that would be more than enough wouldn't it?' and so she is considering it. Her initial response though upset me, because it had me wondering about how many more people are afraid to share their stories for fear of being judged? It would seem that unless your goals and achievements reach the standard of scrutiny by a moronic social media led mindset, you better keep quiet about it.
For hundreds of years, living in a patriarchal society, women have had to fight a long battle to have their opinions heard. Today, after fighting so hard, we now have an abundance of platforms on which to spread our messages, so why on earth are so many women continuing to shy away from raising the bar of self expression and self-celebration? and why are so many women subconsciously judging their fellow comrades who are simply happy with who they are?' What exactly is so wrong about celebrating success and each other? (Whether you changed the World or not) No matter how small the achievement may be, I believe that it should be respected and admired, encouraged and expressed.
What matters to the individual heart, is what matters most and I advocate celebrating that at all costs. If you got up this morning when you felt you couldn't cope with another day, then guess what, that is success, well done! If you accomplished everything on your to do list before falling back in to bed, then that is success, so super well done! And if you choose to live a life according to your own rules, no matter the consequence of a public 'social media flogging,' then I salute you!
Every little thing you do, that positively reinforces your forward moving journey in this world, is worthy of accolade. The fact that you are moving by the force of your own flow and at your chosen pace is inspiring in itself. As natures chosen nurturers, isn't it our job to support people's right to flow in their own way? I do believe it is one of the kindest things you can do for someone. Whatever way that flow may be, as long as it is not harming anyone, it is every individuals right to chose their lifestyle and to not be judged for it. Whether you want to make all the money in the world and live a luxurious life, or live frugally, or spiritually for example, all are equally ok. It is called individual choice.
There are people whose goal is to make money, but 'Money isn't everything,' you'll often hear someone cut in. Well it certainly is when you are poor! Just try paying your mortgage with meditation beads (as useful as they are) they're not going to keep the bank happy. Or try saying money isn't everything to someone who can't feed their kids or afford to put the heating on in mid winter. Trust me, they will not appreciate your comment. And to those that criticise the rich, if they worked their behinds off and made their money outright and they want to buy a yacht, is that not their business? Material things and little luxuries often do make people happy. It certainly does not make them selfish, mean or otherwise. Take Oprah as a case in point, rich, loves a little luxury, phenomenal woman, end of story.
As for the frugally inclined, if saving and minimising things in your life keeps you happy, then that is exactly what you should do. You should not be criticised for it. No matter what lifestyle you choose, if it makes you happy, then go for it and celebrate the heck out of it without living in fear. I believe that hard work and personal choice should always be rewarded and respected, so please don't ever apologise for choosing to live a life that serves you. Remember, the only reason others judge, is because they actually want what you have, but they just don't want to put in the effort required to obtain it.
It bothers me immensely that people these days have to be so self-deprecating or 'cute' in the celebrating of their lives in order for them to be likeable. Why on earth should you have to dumb down your do-ability in order for people to 'like' you? Why shouldn't you shout from the rooftops 'I am proud of myself and I am going to enjoy this moment,’ instead of waiting on others to tell us it’s ok to do so? Who gave them permission to be the Editor of your life? So stop doing yourself down for fear of not being seen as 'good' people,' It is totally ridiculous. We need to learn as women to be proud of our selves without permission, without fear and without expectation! Being proud of yourself is super important, because when you know you can motivate and uplift yourself to continue moving forwards in life, you will discover that you need nothing to survive, but your own ingenuity. Succeed anyway, beyond opinion, lead by example and become the person who sets the standard. Now that's certainly something to celebrate.
When you allow yourself to manifest happiness for yourself, without the need of outside acceptance, then true joy settles in (and what an absolutely delightful partner to share your life with). So set some goals, live without others expectation, lead by your own example, be happy and celebrate the heck out of that. And you know what, when you are strong enough to support your own journey, you may just find the World wants to stand with you. Now that would be phenomenal! So get off the gravy train of societal pressure and the expectation of insignificant others, evict the 'sisters of fear, jealousy and insecurity' and start being super proud of yourself! Because Ladies, in order to live freely, one must first live in happiness and without apology. It's time to raise the bar and celebrate that.